Non-Jews are for practice
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
