You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
