I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
two words: eviction party
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize