I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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