She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize