singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
