i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize