They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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