I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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