if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
