I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
