Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize