He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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