he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
