Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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