He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
