hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
