Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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