so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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