The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
