yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
