that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
