i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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