We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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