dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
