I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
