I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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