Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
