I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Why are your pants in the freezer?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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