he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
