the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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