we have pet lesbian snakes
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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