your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
