You can't special order awesome
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
