I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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