Have you finally orgasmed yet?
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
