Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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