i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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