Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
