my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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