I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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