he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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