I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
