I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
look no pants
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
