Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
