I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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