i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
