Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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