don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
