I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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