My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
