Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
