I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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