Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
