Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
