Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
