I wish I could punch you in the face.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
