It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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