Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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