Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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