big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
