super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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