Since when is my name a synonym for head?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
