I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
