You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
